I started playing the viola in third grade, loved it ever since then. For those who don't know, the viola is a violin that's bigger and doesn't go nearly as high. But it can. Oh boy, it can. The viola is the glue that makes the violin's and cello's mix in perfect harmony. Fourth grade was great. Fifth grade is where my depression officially started, which I haven't gotten out of since then. But let me tell you it's been over four years of depression, and it started over my mom having to get many serious surgeries. She spent at least a week a month there, so I can sadly tell you that I know every bump, curve and dip in the road leading to the hospital by heart. I know every nook and cranny of floor seven and floor four. I remember every pained look crossing her face, moments of sheer vulnerability passing us by. She has diverticulitis and had a hole in her colon when we first brought her in, and the doctors tell us that if we wouldn't have brought her in she would've died in twenty-four hours. Fast forward three or four years later and she's in recovery, where we can't get her sick or else.. well, who knows what'll happen.
Next part of this story is about my abusive father. He's only physically abused me twice, but verbally it's anytime he's awake. He comes home from work, yells and my mom and I then goes to sleep till dinner is ready, which is usually take out, dining in restruants or drive thru, which, as I'm sure you've guessed, is the reason for my obesity. He's constantly yelling, calling names, and threatening. I hate him so much. I don't really want to talk about it. So.. my brother for the next topic? He's twenty-five and a hippy. His name is Brett. We used to watch out for each other, but he moved out and now lives with his abusive girlfriend, Catlin. whooo. Moving on, our family has two dachshunds, Oscar and Myra, two guinea pigs, Frodo and Barney, and some fish. Frodo's mine, and that's basically it, but I've been begging for a basset hound for years. Or a corgi.
Moving back to ANA! (deja vu, seen that in my dreams!) Remember how I've been teetering between 150 and 154? This past weekend was this thing called String Fling, where if you live near the area and you play a stringed instrument, you come and play for seven hours on Saturday and two hours on Sunday then after practicing on Sunday, you play a concert. Then Martin Luther King day is the day afterwards, so its a win-win situation. Anyway, I knew I couldn't throw away the food with my parents sharing a hotel room with me, so I ate lunch with them at HuHot's Mongolian Grill. I tried to eat as less as I could. I ate a bowl of noodles and artificial Krab, accompanied with water. Loads of water. So by the time orchestra was over for the day, we went back. Luckily, I could feel my stomach stir, but I was still full. My dad fell asleep (not surprising) so my mom and I went to the mall. I loved the walking around. She asked if I was hungry and I said I was still full from lunch, which she somehow believed. It was around at least 8 pm and we had lunch at noon! So we went back to the hotel and she ended up taking room service, waking my dad up so they could eat. I was preoccupied with taking a shower and drying my hair and such, so I didn't seem hungry to them. Around 9 my mom fell asleep, but before she did she handed me tootsie pops we got from the mall. Ooooh, Tootsie pops, sushi and Asian food in general are my biggest cravings! So.. needless to say, I ate all four of them. So at 9:30, I went down to the fitness room. Not much to say except that I burned 400 calories and did at least two miles on the elliptical and five miles on the pedaler. Dad came down at 11 to collect me. Not bad at all. So that leads me to today, where I lucked out of eating lunch by falling asleep on the ride home. Booyah!
So, my last portion I'll tell you about is my love life. A year ago, I went to the mall with some friends. I saw a guy and I instantly knew I liked him. It's always like that for me, the typical 'love at first sight' thing. (Something I forgot to tell you earlier that I don't feel like going back and including, my city has this Friday night skate things where the teens go and it's where all the useless drama happens. It's like a club for teens.) Anyway, knowing that, I realized that he goes skating. (and by skating, it practically means walking around with friends and starting drama.) So that;s where I was, noticing him everywhere and I didn't even know his name. Come to find out his name is Tylor, and one of my best friends liked him. She's insanely pretty, so I tried even harder to get over him, knowing my fat ass had no chance. But it was impossible. Months carried on, and he'd always be at the back of my mind. Yeah, I dated other guys, but I never forgot Tylor. I was driven so insane by this that I broke down and told a friend. Ever since then, she's been reminding him every time I bring him up how much I like him. Needless to say, he stopped going skating for a while. (probably thinks I stalk him) He came back on New Years. That's where I am right now, unable to talk to him but completely obsessing at the same minute. He has a girlfriend, and has for a year or two since I saw him.
So that's my life right now. Next blog will most likely be about Drug use and Ana. Advice would be lovely, hate mail wouldn't. Tschau!
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